Hi..I've moved out of home as I'm at uni, but today my mom called me about my 15-year-old sister. She's pretty sure she has an eating disorder of some kind, due to various clues...the first is, she's found bags stuff with food under my sister's bed. This is food she's been given to eat while at school, and partially food my mom made for dinner which my sister hid and brought back up to her room instead of eating it. My mom got a bit scared and read a bit of my sister's diary while she was away for a few days...not really something I support but she's very worried. Anyway in the diary was a page with the words "I will not eat" written out a couple hundred times.
Listening to this I'm pretty sure she has an eating disorder too, especially as I saw her the other day and she did seem a bit paranoid about her weight (she's neither fat not unhealthily skinny, she's actually just right, but she seemed a little weird about staying for dinner). My mom isn't sure what to do. Any suggestions?
Answer:
I've been in your shoes, twice.
First, you or your mom should confront her and say that you found the bags of food (nothing about the diary reading or she might get really upset and uncooperative). Tell her you're worried for her, and try to get her to say what caused this. Try to find out how long she's been doing this, and if she makes herself throw up too. Two of my close friends have been through this, and I hope your sister's case is not that serious. Let's hope it's just some teenage identity crisis and not a medical problem already.
Either way, definitely have her see a nutritionist. The doctor should be able to run some simple tests to prove her she's not overweight (since you say she's not), and especially see if the levels of minerals in her system (iron, calcium, etc) aren't too low. They often drop with eating disorders. He should give her healthy tips on how to obtain a more graceful body (yes, exercise. A very good common tip but people tend to take it more seriously when they hear it from a doctor's mouth).
Don't scare or pressure her to change right away. Just let her know you're on her side. She just has to realize this is a real health-threatening problem, with effects ranging from hair falling off and unhealthy teeth to shrinking of the uterus and losing your periods, and even death in the most serious cases.
One of my friends is now completely over this, and the other -almost. The longer you stick with a bad practice, the harder it is to give it up, but in both cases what made them stop was a change in their way of thinking. You just have to try and trigger that in your sister from the outside.
Another thing I've learned from talking to my friends: people with eating disorders want to be impossibly thin, but not for the sake of thinness itself. It's something that gives them an illusion of control on their life, a way of proving one's worth or punishing oneself, or simply coping with extreme stress. It's quite messed up, and as I said, the change must come from within.
I'm sorry I'm not an expert so I can help more. Good luck.
As her sister maybe you should try talking to her, go on a girly day out for shopping and lunch and have a good chat about everything and see if anything comes up about it.
ask her about it but don't lay down the law! tell her that its ok and your here to help!
good luck!
therapy
dont confront or she might not feel like talking to someone that close to her.
i used to have a disorder... (not eating one) but i never wanted to tell anyone in my family. i had to talk to another person.
good luck.
The only thing I know that works is an intervention with a professional.
Have your parents see if it is covered in their health insurance.
have her mom sign her up for a gym memborship maybe GOLDS if youve heard of it then wether she's fat skinny or just right she can have a nice tone cut to her to and maybe she'd stop this weird disorder. If she is honestly not fat at allllll then maybe it's a diff problem and she should see a psychiatrist
ring a help line. hope she'll be ok.
just tell her that the food has been found under her bed and tell her you know whats going on. show her some images on anorexia and that will soon put her off. tell her what not eating can do to you ie- make you infertile and not to mention all the other dangeous
I think you can be safe in assuming she has a problem. Unless it is an elaborate practical (and unfunny) joke.
Straight talking, but understanding confrontation is the best tactic. Read up on the symptoms so you know your stuff. You might want to visit her GP for advice first.
Tough situation, good luck.
Maybe your sister would be more comfortable if you confronted her rather than her mom. I am the same age as your sister and I would much rather talk about something with my older sister than my mom. Your closer to her age than your mom and you would understand better. But if your mom really wants to confront her than tell her to just ask her if anything is wrong and if she is ok. She will either tell her if she wants to or she won't be ready. Then have your mom watch for another day see if she does it again. And then if she does then your mom should have someone else ask her about and see if she will confess it to them.
You are all in way over your heads. Get professional help.
Well you need to tell your mom to make her eat with everybody and so you will know.Also you need to show her some pictures of people that have or had eating disorders and let people talk to her that had eating disorders or take her to a therapist.
She's probably having someone eat her food. Check under the bed at night.
Get help for your sister immediately. Eating disorders can be life threatening if left untreated. However, many individuals can fully recover if given the right help.
There are many levels to eating disorders, and an individual does not necessarily have to be super skinny to have a disorder. Eating disorders are psychological disorders and not necessarily related to food directly. It is best to consult a psychologist, who is professionally trained to help people like your sister. It is almost a garuantee that your sister will initially deny that there is any problem because her mind is literally killing her own body. She needs all the love and support you can give her during this difficult time. She is fighting a battle with her mind and needs your unconditional love.
There are thousands of websites that discuss symptoms and treatment options for all types of eating disorders. The best thing to do is act quickly.
Your mom is the adult here not the child. She needs to take her to the doctor or the hospital for to get treatment. There is no "mom is not sure what to do" in this case as it is cut and dried. Mom is the adult and she needs to make a doc appointment and take your sister to get help. She needs to alert the doc when she makes the appointment and she should just tell your sis she has made an appointment with the doc for check up and take her. Why your mother didn't take care of this as soon as she read the diary and found the food etc I have no clue but please call your mom as soon as you read this and tell her to call immediately for an appointment or to take her to a larger hospital immediately to get help. If you mom is at work yes she may need to leave to take her to a hospital but we are talking about saving your sisters life. Apparently you and your mom don't realize this could kill your sister is she doesn't get help soon enough. My apologies for sounding "crude" but this is not something that should have been left go for any length of time once you found the evidence.
I feel for you, I've been in your position, and it's a tricky one. My advice to you, is to TALK to her NOW.
Don't put it off, things will get worse. Don't get into an arguement with her, because it'll cause more stress for her, and she'll do it even more.
You have to find out WHY she is doing it first, what or who made her think she was 'FAT'...
Once you've got an answer to that, the rest will be easier.
Belive me, this is better coming from her sister, so, although I know its hard to start this kind of conversation, DO IT. You'll be ok...things can only get better!
Either you could have a word or take her to a GP. Make sure you comment on how great she looks so hopefully she wont go the whole way.
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